Newsletter: December 1, 2007
So, I'm driving along in Redwood City, and I come up to an intersection where
I make a right turn. About half a mile down the road, I look in the mirror and
see that I'm being pulled over. For the first time ever, I don't know the answer
when the officer asks me if I know why I'm being stopped. As it turns out, there
was sign on the side of the road that makes a right turn illegal on a red light.
There wasn't much I could say about that, so I got a ticket.
A few weeks later, I get the mail from the court and they want about $200 for the
violation. When I started writing out the check, I realized that if I wanted to go to traffic
school, I had to pay an additional $30 "traffic school fee." Then, in the fine
print, it tells me that I will also have to pay the school for the actual class.
That's when I began to wonder, what exactly does a "traffic school fee" pay if it
doesn't pay for the school itself? It was pretty obvious that San Mateo County
was using that fabulous corporate tool called the "Mystery Fee" to bilk more money
out of me. Of course, they just couldn't give me a bill for $230, but they had
to invent some phony fee that in reality doesn't pay for any product or service
that I will ever receive.
Most people are already experts in paying off the "Mystery Fee" because just about
everyone has a cell phone. The cell phone business is just a step above the midnight
infomercial business when it comes to ripping people off with their
multi-year contracts
and strange billing programs. Even so, I'm still amazed that they can get away with
the incredible amount of fees and surcharges that they include each month. On my current
bill, there are twelve different fees added to the charges, including one for "portability" and
one called "High Cost Fund Surcharge." Yup, they have me there. My phone is portable,
and the bill is a high cost. I can't fight that! And did you notice that there are three
separate fees for 911 service? A California fee, a city fee and a Federal fee!
Just about every service that you have includes these mystery fees and most of us
just kind of go along with the program. "Here's my check for XYZ service, and wink, wink,
I know you're screwing me for some of the bill." There's no way around it though, unless
you want to stop using some of the most important services in your life.
I could go on forever about the banks, but I'll limit this to my last experience with
the credit card. Somehow, I lost one of my bills and didn't pay my statement for
one month. On the next bill, I was charged the sick 20% interest rate for the
error. Sure, it bugged me that I had to pay, but I couldn't argue because I had
indeed missed the payment.
Then, I saw the breakdown of the charges. The interest hit was in there, but also
a "delinquent payment fee" of almost $30. Now, let me ask you this... If interest
is charged as a penalty for not paying your bill, how can they charge you a fee
FOR NOT PAYING YOUR BILL?
It makes you wonder, just how dumb do these companies actually believe we are?
Will the mystery fee monster just keep going and we'll have to pay for more and
more? When you put gas in your car, will you have to pay a pumping fee to the
station? When you go to the supermarket, will there be a automatic door opening fee?
Well, the door did actually open when you entered the market! How are you going to
argue against that?
All I'm saying is that as consumers, we understand that businesses want to get as much money as
they can from people. That's the system and we get it. Just charge us a straight
amount for something and be done with it! I'm much more happy when I pay my bills
if I don't feel like you're trhing to pull one over on me by making foolish fees
look like actual, legitimate charges for something.
I do have to admit that I kind of admire the creativity of some of these companies
and as a capitalist myself, I'm thinking that if I can't beat 'em, I'm going to join
'em! Starting next month, the Nexus of Steve newsletter will have an eyeball exercise
fee! Something needed to be done about all those fat and lazy eyeballs out there!
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